Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My weight loss goals.

As I sit here eating my salad, and fantasizing about the fresh baked apple pie on my counter, I felt it was a good time to put my goals in text.

Why I want to lose weight:
  • To be healthier. I have 2 herniated disks in my back and asthma. Losing weight will greatly improve both problems.
  • To be stronger mentally. To learn to make the right food choices and lifestyle choices so I'm not always depressed about how I look, and then turn to food as a comfort, which makes it worse.
  • To be a better parent. Yes, I know.. I don't have to be skinny to be a good mom, but there are some sub points to this goal.
1. To be able to keep up with my kids. Running, playing, walking, etc. and to be able to be here longer for them in the future.
2. To not embarrass my kids. The last thing I want is for mean spirited kids to pick on mine, making fun of them for having a fat mom.
3. To be able to save my kids from going through the weight battles I have gone through most of my life. To lead them by example, and help them be healthier as well.
  • I want to be sexy. I'll admit it, I'm vain. I want to look pretty. But I'm so dam lazy about losing weight that I can never win. I want to be able to wear sexy clothes, and feel sexy in them. I want to be able to buy clothes from the normal section of the store and not the nasty plus size clothes 'designers' (and I use that term loosely) think we should wear. I want to be that MILF, I want the guys at my husbands job to be jealous of him for having a good looking wife. I've never thought of myself as pretty, not saying I have bad self esteem (ok, a little bad) but Ive just never thought I looked more than average at best. I have big boobs, most of the time that makes you pretty even if you have the face of a cocker spaniel. I remember the first time I walked into Victoria Secrets and the girls all looked at me like "Yea, ok.. you so don't belong in here" And I remember when I realized that I can actually fit in their thigh-high stockings, and not just go in there to buy cosmetics.. it was a glorious day, and I want MORE of those days!
My husband has always told me, I like 'big girls' [When I met him I was around 215 and I had just found out I was pregnant (Long back story there!). I was able to slim back down to right around that weight after I had my daughter. But then I went on Depo-Provera.. and that was the end of that, I started gaining weight, a little here, a little there, until it was ALL there. I stopped Depo about 6 1/2 yrs ago and I still deal with its side effects every day.] But back to my husband lol. He offers little to no support in all of this, yea, I get the occasional "Wow, you're doing great" but that's not enough. He still eats like we used to, he needs to lose weight as well, but he's to stubborn to be coaxed into it. I feel there are days he tries to sabotage me. We will be eating dinner and he will offer me some of what is left in the pan, knowing full well that Ive carefully put just enough on my plate. He's even told me.. "I think I just like you fat". I think he gets very insecure and somewhat jealous, and wants me to be more undesireable to others. This is the same man who was jealous over the attention I was getting for having blue hair! So that explains that! Ok. On to my goals.

Long Term Goals:

1) To weigh 175 - 180 lbs. As of today 11/24/10 this leaves me 95-100 lbs to lose.
2) To change my way of thinking that allows me to lead a healthier lifestyle. Train myself to NOT want the bad things. Or at least want them in moderation.
3) Introduce more weight training into my working out to firm up the muscle and skin I already have.

Short Term Goals:

1) To lose at least 8 lbs a month. I know as I lose more weight, I'll have a harder time losing more per week, its ok, just means I have to work harder.
2) Live each day, and if I happen to mess up and eat something bad don't condemn myself for it, just either work out a little more that day, or push it harder the next day.
3) Be able to walk my sons Jr High school schedule without being out of breath - by end of December.

If I can think of anymore, I will add to this later.

Holiday Hoe Down, end of week 1

WOWSA! Ok, so after shrinkvivor was over on I slacked off, got lazy and gained a few of the pounds back.. bad me, I know. Well this week brought on a whole new change! I went to the gym like I was supposed to, I ate better (still not great), and I added more exercise in throughout my day and I lost 4 lbs this week! I was thrilled to see that scale reward me for all my hard work.. and seeing that number gives me satisfaction and more incentive to keep going. I love being challenged to make each new week better than the last.

This week has been full of long days so far. On Monday night I had to drive an hour to go watch my 7th grader play basketball for 2 hours and then drive another hour back home.. in the horrible wind! I hate driving in wind most of all, add in dark and rain (Which there was plenty of) and you have the trifecta of evil. My hands were cramped from grabbing the wheel so tight the whole way home, and I felt like I was going to puke most of the way from nerves. I come home to an unusually unsympathetic husband in a pissy mood (because I didn't get his text in time the night before) to top it all of. BLAH. Tuesday morning was my 5th graders field trip to the Challenger Learning Center, oh how I love that place. I got to get my space geek on! Of course a 45 minute bus ride there was oh so entertaining! After dealing with 37 10-11yr olds, we stopped at Burger King for lunch (Oh YAY.. NOT) and I ended up with an ice coffee that was neither large enough nor did it contain nearly enough vodka! Thats my downfall, my comfort 'food'. Ice coffee. I prefer it from Dunkin Donuts, but since we don't have one closer than 45 mins away, McDonald's comes in close second. I refuse to give this up for ANY diet. There are just those certain things that we need to make us feel alright, and while It may not be the best thing I can have, it surely cannot be the worst! Then I got teased by being able to come home for 40 minutes until it was back out to drop the boy off at basketball and take the girl to dance, and finally getting back home at 7:30, and wanting to go to bed at 7:35. At least today I get to do something for me, I have a nail appointment this afternoon! YAY! Even though I will have the 5yr old in tow, it will be nice to get pampered for a little while.

On the downside to all of this losing weight stuff, I need a belt. Maybe I should tell my husband to buy me one for my birthday.. after all, its cheaper than a whole new wardrobe... for now lol

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Whew, ok here we are.. my FIRST ever blog post! I have evolved! In the last 2-3 months I have decided to take back my life. I'm taking it back from the bad food choices, the overeating, overindulging - or at least I'm trying.

I had followed my friend Lori's twitter for a while and had seen her posting about, I decided to be a joiner.. and I am so glad I did! I joined their last challenge 'Shrinkvivor' and lost 20 lbs! So when they came out with 'Holiday Hoe Down' I jumped at the chance to join! 6 ladies with virtually the same goal, to support and motivate each other.. we are the "Jiggle Belles"! (Did you all hear that last part like it was Charlie's Angels? Cuz I did!)

As part of the non fitness challenge, ShrinkingJeans wants us to outline our weightloss goals. So, without further ado.. here it is:

How much do you want to lose? Well, I want to lose at least 15 lbs between now and New Years.

What are your fitness goals for this challenge? My goals are to work out at least 60 minutes a day, 3 days a week at the gym.. and between those days supplement at home with my EA Active and the Ab-Doer my mother so graciously bought me as a "I love you, but you need to change" present many years ago. Also, to get back on the better eating kick.. I slacked a little after Shrinkvivor ended, and need to buckle back down.

What will you be doing to track your food or calories? I LOVE, LOVE .. I cant say that enough! It allows me to log all of my food and exercise for the day.. It gives me a suggested calorie intake, and I LOVE when I click 'complete this entry' and it tells me how much less I will weigh in 5 weeks if I keep leaving calories on the table each day!

Well, there you have it.