Its May. "May my way" to be exact. And I'm about to begin another great weight loss challenge a shrinkingjeans.net . As I begin this challenge, I go into it cautiously. Since I started my weight loss journey last year, I have lost 31 lbs.. but Ive gained 12 lbs back over the last 2 months. Since before Christmas last year, I have been struggling with depression. What at first I thought were just financial stress and winter blues, I brushed them away.. Then as the last few months progressed I found myself unable to fake it much longer. I was getting worse and worse every day. Id wake up and be angry and at my stress breaking point 10 minutes into my day. It was no way to start my day, or my kids day while I got them ready for school. I was becoming withdrawn from and angry at my husband for no valid reasons (other than the reasons I was angry at him before I was depressed lol). I just had a completely helpless/hopeless feeling, I was never suicidal, I just don't care. I've slacked off on housework, laundry, my appearance. I honestly think I faked it well enough, no one except a couple of my good friends. No one in my family has any idea, or at least they didn't say they did. Finally last week I was at my breaking point. Nothing spectacular happened to send me there. I just realized that after 3 days of crying at the drop of a hat, having the worst headache and being completely scared that I couldn't focus, I went to the doctors. I've never cried in the dr's office so much. At the end of the appointment he ended up putting me on zoloft. I've been on it 5 days now and I am beginning to feel a difference. I can tell that I wasn't nearly as stressed this morning getting the kids ready for school and on an even better note, since the day I started taking it, I have lost a pound a day. It will still be a day to day battle and I know they won't all be good days. But I will be happier when I can begin to feel somewhat normal again. I will make simple, easy to meet goals for this months challenge. Goals that I know I can reach every day and if I do more, then it's a bonus. I know I have to push myself, but I also don't want to set unattainable goals for myself anymore. It only makes me feel worse when I don't live up to them. So, My goals are the following:
1. Stay under my calorie goal every day.
2. Work out/walk at least 30 mins 4 times a week.
3. Keep drinking water and lower my salt intake.
4. Remember to take the good with the bad and don't let it bring me down, in life and weightloss.
Ok. Its time to get serious. I've been just going through the motions the last month and putting VERY little effort into weight loss. I have to force myself to get back into the swing of things. So starting today (I was on the couch most of yesterday with 'issues' (mother nature blows) ) and for the rest of the month of April I will push myself:
1. I will work out every day.
2. I will watch what I eat more closely and make better decisions.
3. I will burn AT LEAST 3000 calories a day. I will keep track of this using my Body Media Fit meter.
4. I will post my body media fit results on Facebook every night to give me the added incentive to keep motivated.
5. Get back into the 100 push ups challenge that I've slacked off on as well.
I hope I can accomplish this goal I have set. It won't be easy, but I have to try my hardest to do what is best for my health.
Ok, I'm a little slow this week at writing my blog post.. 2 lbs down this week. *Weeee!* - and 80 left to go. *sigh* . You'd think that I'd be pushing myself to the limit seeing that it's almost summer, but I've gotten in my lazy phase again! I need a kick in the ass! I'm still eating moderately well, I don't go over my calorie goal too too often, but I have really slacked off in the exercise department. I want to be skinny.. I really do, I just hate to work at it. Unbelievable! Unacceptable! I'm doing myself, and my family no justice at all not getting healthy. Yep. I said it. But will I change? *shakes my magic 8 ball... Ask again later? wha?*
I can't do it. I oh-so hate to admit defeat.. but I have to here. I have not been able to do 1 freaking military style push up yet.. I can do 40-50 against my bathroom counter, or the kitchen counter, or the washing machine.. but NONE on the floor. My wrists, elbows and shoulders hurt horribly when I try, and my back sags. No core strength sucks ass! I wish I knew what to do. Maybe planks? Work on my core? I don't know... all I know is that this sucks :/. I'm still going to do them against the counter, but thats not the whole point of this challenge and it doesn't help in my mind either.
What have I gotten myself into?! 100 push ups? hahaha.
So, I took the initial test on Wednesday, and miraculously squeeked out 2 and a half. I have no idea how. Probably my form was horrible and they weren't real military style at all. All I could see is the floor and the cat winding around my arms and everything else was a blur lol. I tried them again this morning and my arms refused to lift me.
I always thought I had decent strength in my arms, this is a wake up call. So I decided to go and do them against the wall. I measured and my feet were 34 inches from the wall and I managed to do 25. I could have done more! I really felt the burn at the front of my arms above my boobs. I liked the burn feeling! I was very careful about my form, being sure to stay straight and ONLY use my arms to push me back up.
Overall I was happy with the 25. I will continue to do the wall pushups, and throw in some attempts at military and/or girl style as well until my arms are strong enough to do military consistently.
Dave Zinczenko posted on twitter this morning: "SHOCKING: The average American uses 100 gallons of water at home per day, says new National Geo study. Ethiopians? 2.5"
Ok.. how can you possibly compare our water usage to the Ethiopians?
Now I'll admit, while I don't waste water, I probably don't do enough to conserve it either. But there are several differences between us and Ethiopians that this comparison is just insane to me and makes us look wasteful and unappreciative of running water.
1. We don't run around 1/2 naked in loin cloths or shorts. We do laundry, most of us have large families (5 in ours and husband has separate work uniform, so more like 6)
2. We aren't dehydrated, so we drink a lot of the water we use.
3. We bath regularly (Ok, most of us do). In a shower, not down at a creek filled with E Coli.
4. We cook with water. I'm sure we cook a lot more with water than the typical Ethiopian family does.
5. We brush our teeth, water our lawns/gardens, wash our cars etc.
Our quality of lives are too different for an accurate comparison.
I just felt a sudden overpowering need to blog about that post. I feel better now lol.
Well, I have to say that I'm shocked, and happy.. Ive lost 2 lbs this week! Given what has been going on with me this last 5 days with yet another heavy period (3rd one since the week of Dec 14th) I feel bloated and icky. I can only imagine how much weight I could have lost this week if 1) I wasn't bloated and 2) I could work out at all.
I also have to say.. I LOVE my bodyfit meter! It really shows me what I need to improve on, and I love to see how many calories that normal every day chores burn. I think it makes me more active seeing in broken down so well and clear!
Last week Gamestop.com offered the new Wii Zumba game for $29.99.. $10 off! - So as of today.. I'm just waiting for it to show up in the mail - Oh and it was FREE shipping!! I can't wait to get it and start using it. Ive lost interest in the ea active.. I think if I wasn't doing just the '30 day challenge' I probably would be using it more. I have to get back into working out, I notice my back is tightening up and my overall energy is sluggish at best most days.
Here's hoping that this next week will be positive and healthy!
Hmm, Im not impressed this week. With anything. .7 loss? blah. I'm having some health issues, and haven't cared in the least to work out or attempt to eat correctly. Not that I haven't wanted to work out, but my health issues have had me confined to my desk chair or the couch since Thursday. I can't even clean my house, and yea. god forbid a child or anyone else pick anything up off the floor. All I want is to feel better, so I can feel better about myself, move forward and lose more weight. Maybe that will all change after I go to the Dr's this afternoon.. I hope. For now, Im just miserable, with nothing good to blog. :/