My weight loss goals.

As I sit here eating my salad, and fantasizing about the fresh baked apple pie on my counter, I felt it was a good time to put my goals in text.

Why I want to lose weight:

• To be healthier. I have 2 herniated disks in my back and asthma. Losing weight will greatly improve both problems.
• To be stronger mentally. To learn to make the right food choices and lifestyle choices so I'm not always depressed about how I look, and then turn to food as a comfort, which makes it worse.
• To be a better parent. Yes, I know.. I don't have to be skinny to be a good mom, but there are some sub points to this goal.

1. To be able to keep up with my kids. Running, playing, walking, etc. and to be able to be here longer for them in the future.

2. To not embarrass my kids. The last thing I want is for mean spirited kids to pick on mine, making fun of them for having a fat mom.

3. To be able to save my kids from going through the weight battles I have gone through most of my life. To lead them by example, and help them be healthier as well.

• I want to be sexy. I'll admit it, I'm vain. I want to look pretty. But I'm so dam lazy about losing weight that I can never win. I want to be able to wear sexy clothes, and feel sexy in them. I want to be able to buy clothes from the normal section of the store and not the nasty plus size clothes 'designers' (and I use that term loosely) think we should wear. I want to be that MILF, I want the guys at my husbands job to be jealous of him for having a good looking wife. I've never thought of myself as pretty, not saying I have bad self esteem (ok, a little bad) but Ive just never thought I looked more than average at best. I have big boobs, most of the time that makes you pretty even if you have the face of a cocker spaniel. I remember the first time I walked into Victoria Secrets and the girls all looked at me like "Yea, ok.. you so don't belong in here" And I remember when I realized that I can actually fit in their thigh-high stockings, and not just go in there to buy cosmetics.. it was a glorious day, and I want MORE of those days!

My husband has always told me, I like 'big girls' [When I met him I was around 215 and I had just found out I was pregnant (Long back story there!). I was able to slim back down to right around that weight after I had my daughter. But then I went on Depo-Provera.. and that was the end of that, I started gaining weight, a little here, a little there, until it was ALL there. I stopped Depo about 6 1/2 yrs ago and I still deal with its side effects every day.] But back to my husband lol. He offers little to no support in all of this, yea, I get the occasional "Wow, you're doing great" but that's not enough. He still eats like we used to, he needs to lose weight as well, but he's to stubborn to be coaxed into it. I feel there are days he tries to sabotage me. We will be eating dinner and he will offer me some of what is left in the pan, knowing full well that Ive carefully put just enough on my plate. He's even told me.. "I think I just like you fat". I think he gets very insecure and somewhat jealous, and wants me to be more undesireable to others. This is the same man who was jealous over the attention I was getting for having blue hair! So that explains that! Ok. On to my goals.

Long Term Goals:

1) To weigh 175 - 180 lbs. As of today 11/24/10 this leaves me 95-100 lbs to lose.

2) To change my way of thinking that allows me to lead a healthier lifestyle. Train myself to NOT want the bad things. Or at least want them in moderation.

3) Introduce more weight training into my working out to firm up the muscle and skin I already have.

Short Term Goals:

1) To lose at least 8 lbs a month. I know as I lose more weight, I'll have a harder time losing more per week, its ok, just means I have to work harder.

2) Live each day, and if I happen to mess up and eat something bad don't condemn myself for it, just either work out a little more that day, or push it harder the next day.

3) Be able to walk my sons Jr High school schedule without being out of breath - by end of December.

If I can think of anymore, I will add to this later.

Jenn