Wednesday, May 4, 2011

May your way.. errr MY way.

Its May. "May my way" to be exact. And I'm about to begin another great weight loss challenge a . As I begin this challenge, I go into it cautiously. Since I started my weight loss journey last year, I have lost 31 lbs.. but Ive gained 12 lbs back over the last 2 months. Since before Christmas last year, I have been struggling with depression. What at first I thought were just financial stress and winter blues, I brushed them away.. Then as the last few months progressed I found myself unable to fake it much longer. I was getting worse and worse every day. Id wake up and be angry and at my stress breaking point 10 minutes into my day. It was no way to start my day, or my kids day while I got them ready for school. I was becoming withdrawn from and angry at my husband for no valid reasons (other than the reasons I was angry at him before I was depressed lol). I just had a completely helpless/hopeless feeling, I was never suicidal, I just don't care. I've slacked off on housework, laundry, my appearance. I honestly think I faked it well enough, no one except a couple of my good friends. No one in my family has any idea, or at least they didn't say they did. Finally last week I was at my breaking point. Nothing spectacular happened to send me there. I just realized that after 3 days of crying at the drop of a hat, having the worst headache and being completely scared that I couldn't focus, I went to the doctors. I've never cried in the dr's office so much. At the end of the appointment he ended up putting me on zoloft. I've been on it 5 days now and I am beginning to feel a difference. I can tell that I wasn't nearly as stressed this morning getting the kids ready for school and on an even better note, since the day I started taking it, I have lost a pound a day. It will still be a day to day battle and I know they won't all be good days. But I will be happier when I can begin to feel somewhat normal again. I will make simple, easy to meet goals for this months challenge. Goals that I know I can reach every day and if I do more, then it's a bonus. I know I have to push myself, but I also don't want to set unattainable goals for myself anymore. It only makes me feel worse when I don't live up to them. So, My goals are the following:
1. Stay under my calorie goal every day.
2. Work out/walk at least 30 mins 4 times a week.
3. Keep drinking water and lower my salt intake.
4. Remember to take the good with the bad and don't let it bring me down, in life and weightloss.


  1. Good for you for getting the help you need. I really like your #4 goal. Good luck with the challenge!

  2. glad you got to the doctor to get the help you need! also love goal #4.